Have Not

written October 29th, 2000

I think to speak some illicit illustrations
send explicit invitations with descriptive implications
a difference it's been facing with an emphasis on chasing
this nation providing different faces of duration/
no time to relax pause I rhyme and extract awes
lines interact Gods divine design to attract applause
but that’s cause of anarchy plant are key of distress
level of hate is higher then the amount of THC in my chest/
you see I lead and attest the revolution,cheated the test of evolution
steep in the stress of destitution, leading the rest to execution/
even the best seek retribution, death diffusing my head
searching for serenity but found confusion instead/
“intrusion” it read. disrespect to the masses
question passes. as is I guess I slept through most the classes/
I took. life shook with a deadly force
trauma plagued I gave my heart now motherfucker send me yours/
plenty more there was pressure at first sight relaxed with ease
I was riding on a dream outside my brains capacities/
I got a head like hole allow my mind to be clouded
life of a kid who lost a piece with every rhyme that he shouted/
I search for peace haven't found it heaven’s history
share my speech with god CRUCIFY this into me/
a sin to be myself individuality left scars
a cynical synopsis but I await the change so let's start/
a new plan of pinnacle process constantly crippled by nonsense
absent minded but conscious my conscience is dying a long tense/
moment of absolution and fear for the fact it feels so good
keep my head in the office but my heart content right in the hood/
right is it good, wrong is it bad? it's sad my dads missed
most of our lives we live in fear of the wrong reaction/
high fidelity my inner walls are sound proof
time to meditate and celebrate new found youth/
surround truth with facade to keep them on their toes
born with the truth I guess for most it's just to hard to know/
I sparsely go where all men have boldly died
the rope we tied anticipating a lonely ride/
only time will tell smashing clocks to keep my secret
wash myself in vanity sanity played delinquent/
but still I reap in benefits of doubt sarcasm uneasiness
never won anything and there's nothing left for me to miss/
I've treated rap like an accusation always on the defensive side
deep puddle of waste buckling up for this relentless ride/
soul searching mind traveling dabbling feet in the water
unhooked the cross around my neck -success- ya needed no longer/
I've defeated my ponder like look on life
I crooked it twice for an individual book to write
minimal look-a-likes but maybe I'm just not looking right
I took the plight but admit i was just too shook to fight/
look it's white as the kids laugh and point at my skin
so at twelve said hell pass the joint and pass the gin/
I'm passive in my ways leading to advantages taken
life would be shit if it wasn't for my steady cannabis grazing/
craving for a hit blazing off the fruit of the land
true to the plan kill a cop that tries uprooting my plant/
truth is in fact a block between the thoughts of right and left
for all eternity I'll be sure to beat the fight with death/
leak the slightest breath and leave this world a have not
cus I ain't had shit since I had pops/

happy birthday

Mayhem by manifesto

written june of 2001((18 yrs old)

i never see the life the same it's a game and some are rollin with loaded dice

while mine are blank missin numbers haunted by stubborn poltergeist/

what's my name talkin to deaf hookers like they won't even bother to ask

drinkin a flask of ever clear hopin to forget my father passed/

on to the task of cloud watchin readin like comics in the sky

honesty fills the cracks in life and so the surface is covered in lies/

takin a drink from the puddle of youth but it's truthfully tastin' bitter

so i spit it into a frozen body and bring heat to eternal winter/

knockin on wood got me splinters mother nature won't let her

body be destoryed by poison but she's cluttered with go getters/

i hold a letter of governemnt pardon for the arson i lit underneath

slitherin snakes come out their wholes makin it harder for me/

step in peace but my next release of oxygen might be the last

passin water and brim stone unscathed but my scales reach for the past/

grab the latch open up a chapter that was locked in a gate

fate pressed immediate answers but i was robbed of a date/

with destiny so what's left for me but ashes and dust

this ain't a fact or prethought conception just caught me happen to bust/

on a tour bus from hades maybe i should just jump out

or press the breaks and watch my brains hit the glass and dump out/

philosiphize with excons that get stepped on by frank sinatras daughter

runnin out of time so i'm scratchin with the speed of blades on helicopters/

never stop the monsta life's a ying yang without balance there's no peace

we got good and bad so there's no need for police that hold heat/

with foul intentions riot gear used for the excuse of crowd prevention

thinkin' aloud I mention desperation brings astound inventions/

dribble around these clouds forgettin the ground and all that's over there

livin the life i live will be givin a chance for kids with no despair/

when hair drops and bodies shrink skin grows to heaps of wrinkled flesh to rot

soul expands balloon effect bigger it gets the closer it gets to pop/

we're not the average characters we care to categorize as

if you would just dare to think outiside the lines you'd see a divine path/

sometime the mind lacks the will and motivation takes a turn to idle

stifled by my aspirations built up anger burnin bibles/

i used to yell out curses... but as of recent life's a trampoline

ups and downs so close togther broken weather ample dreams/

trampled see that's just another thing that keeps on gettin me

so i utilize telepathy through the weed that's sittin next to me/

as the light burns i take a slight turn and rub my side burns

while ponderin another place where I'm never thinkin life burns/